heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
