So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
