I think my fart just growled at me.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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