Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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