Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
