The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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