break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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