i think i have herpe
just one?
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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