Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
