We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
