Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
