You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
