I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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