I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
