was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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