I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
