on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
