ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
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