just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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