My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
