im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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