I'm gonna have a badass scar
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
4 words: hood of his car
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
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