I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
