My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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