We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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