I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
