i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize