in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
