i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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