Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
