i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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