He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize