the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
