I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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