i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
