is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Randomize
