do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
