i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
