Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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