he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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