Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
