wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
