did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
