you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
