yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
