12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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