Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
