He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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