dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize