is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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