STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize
