I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
so let's talk penis.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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