exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize