True but thats because hes a fetus.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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