I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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