How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
