Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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